You Can’t Say “Yes” to Everything

I tend to be a “yes” person.  Over the years, it has become easier to say no to many things.  However, when saying no means possibly letting someone down, it’s still very hard to do.

I was asked to help lead the children’s ministry worship team.  After I had spent some time thinking and praying about this, I learned that one of the desired outcomes is to teach this worship team how to worship for the glory of God and not just perform.  Helping with music I can do, but teaching this very intimate skill is not something I feel comfortable doing.  While I did feel a connection when I, myself, was leading worship through music in church, this was deeply personal and not something I can share with others – especially children.

I like children, and they like me, but teaching even came up in only the 3rd percentile on a career interest survey I once took.

There’s another direction I want to take with my life right now.  I left the music ministry behind me for multiple reasons.  My faith is a personal thing and at this time, I prefer not to share anything further about that.  Perhaps I will at another time.

Aside from that, I would be remiss if I didn’t take full advantage of as much overtime I can manage for however long it’s offered.  I want to get out of debt, and Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover is starting to show results!  Between that and building my photography business, I simply can’t take on anything else.  I let go of my position on the Board of Directors for SCTC for the same reason.

While it feel nice to be needed, sometimes it’s just not healthy to say yes to everything.

Sing for Joy?

I think I had mentioned in an early post that I decided to join a worship team at church again.  Well, last night was the first practice.  There was a time when we had two practices before singing, but they have changed that to coming earlier on Saturday to count as the second practice.  That change was made some time ago, so that’s not at all the issue.

The issue is that the team I’m on now, though the people are just as great, does not stick to the key of the songs we are given to practice to for one to preferrably two weeks before practice.  So for the past week, I worked so hard at nailing certain notes on these songs on the CD only to have to sing them in an entirely different key after all!  The two songs that were changed are my favorites, too.  One of them I have to sing entirely in falsetto voice (i.e., OPERA-ish).  The other just has two or three notes that I can’t hit, but they’re in the chorus.  It will sound ridiculous if I drop out there, and there’s no harmony that will work for it.  If I false those notes, it will just sound squeeky and ruin the feeling.  The key was changed because the leader can’t sing that low – nevermind that now someone else struggles to sing that high.

Where does this fit in that The Heart of the Artist book?  I don’t see this as teamwork; I see it as a solitary decision.  I usually keep my claws in, but this is really eating at me.  I’m afraid to bring it up because I’ll be viewed as just another artsy person complaining and wanting it MY way.

I had to dump this somewhere so I can try to let it go and focus on work today.  I hope this isn’t an indication of how it will be every time this team sings.  If it is, it may really have to be the end of it for me.  As much as I want to do it, if it’s going to hurt, I don’t see how I can continue.  As much as I don’t want it to be a “show”, this is one thing I truly appreciate about my old team … we always sang all songs exactly as we practiced them on the CDs.  I don’t read music, and I don’t know how to take it up a third just like that!

Bible Study

I found a place to download Bible Studies that I can listen to on my MP3 player. They’re through Calvary Chapel Aurora, which I’ve attended a few times and really enjoyed listening to the Pastor there. I’m working on downloading the whole series on Romans right now. Just thought I’d pop over and share in case anyone was interested in checking it out. You don’t have to download anything. You can listen to it right on your computer.

I also download podcasts from Pastor Joe over at the fshbwl. Pastor Joe is the guy who did his Vicarship at our church. Seriously, I don’t think the man ever sleeps. I don’t see how he possibly could!

Lutheranism

I’ve been reading That I May Be His Own: An Overview of Luther’s Catechisms, and I now understand how the catechism came to be and why Luther arranged it in the order he did.

The ten commandments come first because they lay down the law and let us know how we are to live our lives. These commandments make sense no matter what your religion, or lack thereof. Basic human instinct gives us a sense of what’s right and what’s wrong. Chances are, it’s all covered by these commandments!

The Apostles Creed comes next as a statement of our faith. What I don’t understand is where the Nicene and Athanasian Creeds came from. I don’t recall reciting the Athanasian Creed in our church, but we recite the Nicene Creed sometimes. The Apostles Creed is the oldest creed, and if it were absolutely necessary to recite any of them, I would think this would be the only one necessary.

Finally, The Lord’s Prayer is covered last. It shows our submission to God’s will and that we turn to Him for everything.

What I’m learning about myself more and more is that I’ve never been comfortable with the written responses in the liturgy we’re supposed to read aloud or with the recitation of any creed or prayer as a whole church. It all seems so prescribed and ritualistic. Matthew 6:5-8 says,

” 5“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. 6But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. 7And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”

So why do we gather and babble these creeds and prayers out loud?

Lutheranism is (I think) just one step away from Catholicism, which has way more “rituals” and requirements. Other protestant religions also recite creeds and The Lord’s Prayer. Now I did attend a non-denominational Christian church that did not do this. The only responsive reading they did was directly from the book of Psalms. This was Calvary Chapel. I really enjoyed the Pastor and his lessons there, but it’s a mega-church – and I do mean MEGA! It’s huge! It would be hard to feel a sense of fellowship there – at least for a while.

There are many resources, including streaming broadcasts of services, directly on the internet. The problem with that is that you lose the live, human interaction. When you work at home, it’s good to have some other social circle outside of the home – or so we’re all told. Some people need that more than others. I’m part of the “others”.

I don’t know if I should really be a Lutheran because of these feelings. Truthfully, I’m not entirely sure what I believe. There are times where I believe that certain things had to have happened by the grace of God. There are other times where if I really think about it, I wonder if it just happened because that’s just the way it was supposed to be. But who exactly determines how things are supposed to be? Are our lives, in a sense, “scripted” by God? Does prayer really change things, or do things happen how they’re going to happen regardless of prayer?

Truth be told, this was also a factor in my decision to stop singing with the worship teams. I don’t want to be a hypocrite leading worship when I’m conflicted myself.