First Father’s Day without Dad

This photo was taken over 20 Father’s Days ago.  Photos and a few old home videos are now the only way for me to see my dad.  It has been seven months since he lost his life to non-small-cell lung cancer, and I still haven’t been able to watch any of the home videos, though.  Today would not be a good day to try.  This is my first Father’s Day without my dad.

It was one year ago this month that we learned of the cancer.  Five months later, he was gone.  I was able to drive from Denver to St. Louis just after the news and to be there when he had his partial hip replacement.  I stayed for two weeks and saw him come home and get around with a walker.  As we drove off to return home from that trip, he was outside standing in the driveway.  That was the last time I saw him standing.

The cancer was already in his lungs, liver, and bones.  Dad went through chemo and radiology for a few months.  We learned in October that all of this had done absolutely nothing.  The cancer had continued to spread.  My whole family had already planned on driving to St. Louis the last week of October, and this happened to be when my dad ended up entering the Hospice program.  We were there to help with the transition from the hospital to home.  Greg had to return to work and the kids to school the next week, so we had to leave knowing that any day could be my dad’s last.  We were prepared to make a quick turn-around at any time.

Every day I waited for “the call”.  Every day I learned that he continued to hold on.  The nurses didn’t understand it and commented that he must be waiting for something or someone.  Two weeks later, I felt very strongly that I just needed to go and be there.  Once more, I dropped everything and made the drive to St. Louis.  The morning after I arrived in St. Louis, I made it to the house in time for my dad’s last breath.  My sister had been on the couch near him when I knocked on the door.  She saw that he was breathing.  I came into the house, and my sister and I started talking.  We thought dad was sleeping, but my sister looked over and said, “He’s not breathing.”

That’s all I can write about that.  After some time, we both started making phone calls.  Greg pulled the boys from school, and they were there by that night.  I went through the rest of the week half numb and remained that way for several weeks it seems.  Dad was only 59 years old.  Too young.

Possible E. Coli Contamination in Nestle Cookie Dough

As of 6/18/09, there have been five confirmed cases of E. Coli in Colorado, and four of the patients have eaten Nestle cookie dough raw in the week preceeding their illness. The Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment says 66 cases from 28 states have been identified. The cases in Colorado are in Denver, Douglas, Jefferson, and Weld Counties.

Recycling – A Personal Thought (Female Related)

Warning: This post contains information of a personal nature, and while written as generic as possible, some may find the material repulsive or otherwise offensive.

When our local garbage company began offering to pick up recycling, I quickly purchased a separate trash receptacle for the kitchen for metal, glass, and plastic. All cardboard boxes are flattened and tucked behind the trash can to be taken to the appropriate recycle bin in the garage when the trash is taken out. I’m surprised and disheartened NOT to see recycle bins at the curb in front of more houses on our street. I would estimate less than 10% do.

There is one thing that I do not recycle, and that is of a personal nature once per month. People urge the use of cloth diapers, and the use of washable towels instead of paper towels. I’m sorry, but I’m not going to use the cloth rags used in ancient days when women received their reminder of their ability to bear children! This is one thing I will not give up. I know there are items with cardboard applicators, but they are often difficult at best. Don’t even mention the items with no applicator at all. I refuse to go there, either! The plastic applicators don’t have a recycle symbol on them anyway. I would think this would be unsanitary even if rinsed. Aside from boiling to sanitize, I don’t see how this would be acceptable. Can you imagine the family asking what’s cooking?

Hydrochloric Acid Spill at High School

This chemical spill happened at my kids’ high school this afternoon.  Josh was already home since he had last period off today, and Jason was attending his fourth period class at another high school.  Ali walked right by the spill on the edge of the sidewalk, though.  None of it touched her, but the fumes did make her cough quite a bit.  She called me immediately from outside the school because her bus wasn’t there yet, and there were fire trucks and other emergency vehicles arriving.  There was nothing I could do because I was at least 30 minutes away at the office for a training meeting.  So I called Jason, but he had to work right after school.  Ali ended up getting a ride with a friend.  She washed her clothes and showered when she got home to be safe, and she says there’s no burning in her nose or throat.  She had already been coughing and a little hoarse from a cold.  All who went to the ER today were released, so I’m not too concerned.  I’ll check with her again when she wakes up tomorrow, but I’m sure she’s fine.

Kids Mobility Nonprofit Organization

Check out http://www.kidsmobility.org

All Denver front range locations of Jenny’s Market are donating all income (not just profits) from coffee and soda fountain sales to this organization every Wednesday in September.  Thirsty???

The price of these pieces of mobility equipment is astronomical!  Insurance companies are covering less and less of these costs.  What a great nonprofit organization to help those who simply can’t afford these for their children in need.

Childhood Cancer Awareness

It’s not letting me imbed the video here, but please go to this article on our local news station website.  You can view the video there as well.

Pain Easing

The nauseating pain has subsided, but there is still some residual neck and shoulder pain lingering along with some dizziness.  Ibuprofen and BioFreeze have been my very close friends lately.  Today is also my last day on the prednisone, so hopefully if these have been side effects, they will be gone when I wake up tomorrow!

Nauseating Pain

Have you ever felt pain so bad that you felt like you might throw up?  When will this all work it’s way out of my system?

It was exactly a week ago Saturday that I woke up hurting all over.  The next day, either side of the base of my skull felt bruised to the touch.  Slowly, all week, that has been working it’s way down my neck, and is now settled across my shoulders and shooting pain down my right arm.  It aches deep inside.  This is so frustrating!  Tonight, I have another headache.  I wonder if this is the kind of pain people with fibromyalgia deal with all the time.  It’s downright depressing because I want to do everything I would normally do, but I can’t.  I’m taking 600 mg of ibuprofen at a time just so I can function.

My hair dryer fried this morning.   In the middle of drying my hair, it shorted out and died.

I did manage to get out today and get Miranda new shoes for school.  One can only live in flip-flops for so long, and those summer days are rapidly approaching their end here in Colorado.  Of course, I couldn’t resist the cutest pair of flats for myself – a steal at $2.99 at Payless!  I am so glad leggings and longer, flowy tops are coming back.  Finally, I can be comfortable again.

Greg has to work nights this week and will be crashing in Jason’s room in the basement during the day.  I’m facing some overtime this week.  Some glitch happened that prevented a few hundred email from uploading the week before last, and we have some catching up to do.  Being on vacation last week was actually a blessing.  I wouldn’t have been able to work overtime anyway.  It sucks that I had to spend my vacation recuperating from that allergic reaction, but at least I was able to rest.

My weekends for the next few weeks are busy as usual.  Next weekend I have a photo shoot for one of the SCTC groups.  That will be on location in an urban setting.  The following weekend I want to take the girls somewhere to take their portraits to match the boys’.  The next weekend is my scheduled Saturday to work.  The weekend after that I’m singing with a new worship team!

Yep!  I decided it was time to get back into the music ministry.  I won’t be singing with my old team, though.  To do that, I would need to also sing on another team.  I can’t do two teams.  It’s just too much.  In October and November, my team is scheduled to sing the same weekends I’m scheduled to work.  When I work on a Saturday, I only work until 2:00, and rehearsal starts at 3:00.  I actually prefer to sing the same weekend I work.

School starts tomorrow!  I should get to bed so I can get up early enough to make sure all THREE high schoolers are up on time!  Miranda doesn’t have to wake up until an hour after them.

When Will it End?

This whole drug allergy thing stinks!  To get rid of the rash and itching, I was prescribed prednisone.  Yet again, there are side effects.  Constant headaches, sleep disturbances, slight dizziness, and just a general “blah” feeling that I can’t shake.  I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep for an hour or two.  I just want to feel normal again!

What’s it All About?

Today was one of those days where I couldn’t help but wonder what it’s all about.  We go through the motions of our day, go to sleep, get up, and do it all again, and again, and again.  It gets so boring sometimes.  No matter how you slice anything, a lot of it is really done for personal gain.  We work for money.  We play games for personal satisfaction.  We buy things because we think things make us happy.  We try to keep our houses clean for validation and pride.

Changing the subject completely…

Round three of yet another antibiotic for a UTI, and it turns out I’m allergic to it.  I took 11 of 20 pills, too!  The first dose of Bactrim was on Monday.  On Tuesday, I got a headache.  I got a headache on the Macrobid and the Cipro as well, so I just thought it was a side-effect I had to deal with.  On Wednesday, I felt nauseous and actually had to stop working for 30 minutes and lie down because my head hurt so bad.  Excedrin seemed to cut it eventually.  Another headache on Thursday and Friday, but no nausea.  Saturday morning I woke up with every bone in my body aching so badly I was in tears.  I had a fever of 100.4.  So I stayed in bed all day and actually took my morning dose of Bactrim still not putting the two together.  I assumed I was getting some other virus on top of it all.  Then I noticed my right foot itched a little.  Later in the day after washing my hands, I couldn’t stop rubbing my hands in a towel because it felt so good on my itchy hands!  That’s when i decided this has got to be an allergic reaction, and I stopped taking the Bactrim.  That night I kept waking myself up rubbing my feet together because they itched so badly.  Sunday morning I woke up with a fever of 101.3.  Thank goodness it was short lived, and it didn’t come back.  The itching was another story!  I itched and scratched all day Monday.  I called and left a message for my doctor in the morning, and he called me back in the evening.

This morning I woke up with a blotchy, red, raised rash from my shoulders to my knees.  So I placed another call, and they put me straight through to the nurse.  She talked to the doctor, and he decided to prescribe prednisone to get this under control.  The rash is lightening up a little this evening, and I’m taking Benedryl on top of it.  I just climbed into bed and took two (I’ll only take two when going to sleep).

We’re on vacation this week, but the week is off to a slow start because of this.  You can only do so much with makeup, and the rash had spread up my neck and part way up my cheeks.  I really didn’t feel like shopping today, but I did manage to get some things from the grocery store and to pick up a couple of ink cartridges for my printer.  The girls went through their clothes and bagged up everything that doesn’t fit anymore.  We’ll probably shop on Friday.

Josh has an eye exam tomorrow morning and if it doesn’t rain, we’re going to take senior portraits at a state park later in the afternoon.  If it rains, we might try to do it Thursday morning.  On Thursday afternoon, Jason is getting his wisdom teeth removed.  Then Thursday evening is when the class lists will be posted on the doors at the elementary school.  There’s an open house and ice cream social so the kids can meet their teachers and find their classrooms.

The senior portraits can wait a little longer, but once school starts (next Monday), it’s going to be hard to coordinate.  I’m taking the boys’ pictures as well as Jason’s girlfriend’s pictures.  Of course, my work schedule will change a little again with the school year in session.  I start earlier since I have to get up earlier anyway.  So I’m done by 3 or 3:30.  I have to get one or two selections to the school for the yearbook by September 30.

The afternoon has gently passed me by
The evening spreads its sail against the sky
Waiting for tomorrow
Just another day
God bid yesterday goodbye
(from Bring on the Night by The Police)